Sarah

"Hi my name is Sarah and I am an alcoholic. That is the first time I have said this out loud to anyone besides my family and closest friends...and I had to say it quickly so I wouldn’t back down.

I am 34 years old and have been married for just over a year. A couple of months ago I left rehab. Throughout my life, the hardest thing I have ever had to do was admit that I had a problem and get the help I needed. I disappointed a lot of people who believed in me.

Throughout the process of getting clean and sober, I saw my body go through a lot of changes. I detoxed and lost weight as all the alcohol left my body. It was interesting because growing up I was made fun of for being too skinny and as I got older and my alcoholism hold, I was too chunky and too drunk. I was never enough…it was a no win situation.

My weight wasn’t the only thing that was imperfect throughout my life. I also have a crooked nose…you can see it right here. And no, I haven’t broken it or had anything happen, this is just my nose. It’s always been this way.

As I thought about this project, #ReclaimBeauty, and what it meant to me not only in my journey in recovery but in learning to love myself, I decided it was important to come and be a part of this because no matter what my identity is, it’s okay to be me and to realize my alcoholism is just one part of me and I deserve to celebrate my beauty in its entirety. I remind myself on a regular basis that it is okay to be, and slowly, I am learning how to do that. I hope being a part of this project allows others to think about the ways they can be okay with being who they are because no matter what, if you look hard enough, you will always see problems come through.

I used to be pretty perfect - acting and being what I knew people wanted me to be - but that’s when I was the saddest in my life. So now, I am learning to say 'screw it'….I am me and that is already enough."

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