Power is a funny thing. Ever since the beginning of this journey, I thought I had all of the power; it was my life and I am in control of it…or so I thought. What I’ve come to learn is that power is easily taken from you when you are in an eating disorder. Nothing I did or thought was in my control. My eating disorder made me believe that I was still in control, yet I was far from it.
In this world, and in our society, people give away their power so easily. We give our power to other people when we believe that their thoughts of us and behaviors should affect what we do. You will never have true power until you realize that this is your life. No one cares what you do or should have any say in your life if you do not want them to. Life is messy. You are going to mess up, lose people, even lose yourself. It is when you take back that power that you are really in control.
For so long, I never saw myself as special or unique. That’s the thing though, we are all special and unique, yet we are all the same and irrelevant at the same time. Not irrelevant in a bad or forgotten way but in the way that this world is so big that your life is not that special to other people. That may seem like a bad thing but it truly is one of the most freeing things to realize. Your life is only special to the people who matter to you and you, yourself. Society takes this freedom away from us, but if you can take back your power, nothing can stop you. You can do anything with your life so why not do it. Do the things that matter to you. Do the things that terrify you. Do the things you thought you never could. You are the writer of your own story and this story is for you, so make it great. Regret nothing, love everything and live life.